"Poor Unfortunate Souls..."

This week went by very quickly and was a little spastic and stressful.

But it's the weekend and I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm gonna sit here with my Jose and Diet. Stalk people via the internet. Wait for Maggie to arrive. And go out dancing.... Yay.

Hey Jude...

Today was good. And uber busy. ..

I woke up earlier than I would have liked. Ran many errands with Patrick. Went to fetch his brother from Irmo. Cooked for 20 people. Participated in an alley cat (I was a checkpoint, but that totally counts...) Hung out with my sister. Met up with Erin. Bumped into Wizzy. Had dinner @ Miyo's where we were basically kicked out of our table by a neighboring group. Got coffee (Starbuck's layout has changed, and it's stupid.) Ran into Tim. Returned Erin to the Cow car. Had hot chai tea with Tim and a young Russian playing pretty music at me (being serenaded is lovely, it should happen more frequently.) Spent some QT with Wizzy. Returned home. Made up the couch for Eric. Blogged... whew. Busy, but wonderful.


Btw. I want to move to Portland, Oregon. And Seattle. But I have to wait two years for Seattle so Ernie and Matt can come too.... You should bring happiness with you if you are going to move to Seattle I think. It rains a lot there. And that can get depressing... Goodnight...

"Just for now.....get me out of here"

"Leave all our hopelessnesses aside...
Just for a little while, Tears stop right here,
I know we've all had a bumpy ride.."
-Imogen Heap

Life is hard, and it hurts. People who love you ultimately hurt you. Is that being pessimistic, or is it just the nature of the beast? Because really, only those that you love can really get to you in order to cause any pain. What do you do?? Forgive them for their wrongdoing?? God tells you to forgive and forget. But is it really that easy? It's hard to forgive. Harder so to forget. But can we afford not to??

"Bite tongue, deep breathe, count to ten nod your head.."

I wish life was easier. I wish answers were easier to find. I'm told to ask the Lord and he'll answer. But it's hard to not have instant gratification. But then again, maybe that's why we are blessed with friends. Someone who is tangible. And, at times, a messenger of God's words.

A big part of me wants to be the forgiving being that I know I should be. Another part desires to be angry. To throw things and hit someone. "Here hit Weezer..."
Is there a point where you don't give someone a second chance? Are there unforgivable crimes? Or do you forgive everything, every wrongdoing? That seems hard. But I really want to forgive and move forward...

"All that I know is I'm breathing, all I can do is keep breathing,
All we can do is keep breathing...."
-Ingrid Michaelson

"The dust has only just begun to form..."

"Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me 'round again, and rub my eyes,
This can't be happening..."

I was told today that my "laugh was contagious." It was from a lady having dinner with her husband. And it made my whole day happy.

I think back to days long ago, well as long ago as they can be in my relatively short life... Back to days when I was a lot less happy and easy going than I am now. And I hated people telling me that I was abrasive and other unflattering adjectives. So it was a pure joy for a complete stranger to tell me that I spread happiness. I think I love her...

On a less optimistic note, I was told some news today that's been a bit hard to swallow. It's always hard when people in your life move on. They go in their own direction, leaving you to your own path. And lives that were once so intertwined drift apart and become so separate, it's hard for others to imagine they were, at one point, almost one existence.

"Oily marks appear on walls,
where pleasure moment hung before..."

I know it's ridiculous, but I hate it when people move on. Not that I wish people don't go forward with their lives, I just hate not being a part of it. But I guess in order to expand your horizons, meet new people who introduce new ideas that ultimately shape who you will become. I guess in order to accomplish all this, and get everything that life has to offer. You have to have a past to gain perspective from. It's just that it's so difficult to let things go into the realm of "the past."

Maybe this doesn't even make sense to anyone except myself. It's just me trying to make some sense of life.

"Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you,
You don't care a bit. No, you don't care a bit"
-Imogen Heap

"But I'd like some extra spare time..."

Today was my first day of work. It went well. I ran food mostly and helped Michelle bus tables with it got really busy. She seemed to be pleased with me, which is good. I got complimented, whew... I then preceded to stare at the computer screen and learn the POS system. That part was uber boring.

I then got a free house salad and cold noodles. It was tastey, and did I mention free??

I walked in the rain today, with no shoes. It was cold. And my hair is no longer straight. But I was afraid my shoes wouldn't dry by tomorrow, so barefooted it was... Matt would be so proud..

Afterwards, Patrick and I went to Publix for some chocolate Soy milk. As we were walking down the aisle this lady passing by told us we were "a cute couple." :) Happy. It was very sweet of her, and kinda made me blush...

My head hurts now, so I think I'll take a nap while Patrick builds a table for his "bike shoppe." It's real cute that he has his own space for his hobby now. A space aside from the corner in the washroom... I think he's worked on some bike or another for a few hours everyday since Sunday. And the amount of parts and even whole bikes has multiplied... Soon, we are gonna have to get him an extra building for all that stuff...

"Staying home can't be that bad for me...
But the bills keep changing colors.."
-Rilo Kiley

"I cannot sleep with these thoughts running through my mind...."

This weekend was pretty good. I spent the entirety of it cooking and planning for my grandmother's ninety-first birthday! Yay! My whole family was there, with the exception of my father. It was great because that hasn't happened in years... Seriously. Everything went pretty well. Until I returned to Columbia and received a text message from my dad. He was mad and decided he didn't want me in his life anymore.... Yea.... It's okay though, this is the third time he's done this in the last four years. But enough about that.

I have an interview at Miyo's tomorrow. I have been advised a few times that I should seek employment elsewhere, but I have bills and am almost completely out of money. So I must take whatever I can get at this point. I think I may attend the job fair in later this month and see what I can come up with.

On a happy note, I have a living room now!! It's very exciting. I am currently sitting on the couch, laptop in hand in front of the TV while Patrick bangs on his bicycles behind me. He now has his very own space for his most prized hobby. It makes me happy. We have a smaller room now, but a Much larger closet. Now I can hide my mess better. I also spent a good bit of time purging my closet and accessories today. I get told on a regular basis that I have too much stuff. This is the third time I will be taking a trip to the Goodwill to donate unused and unloved items. Patrick is slowly breaking of my need to be a pack rat, which is good because no one needs to have this much crap. I should have figured this out after moving in August. At least this time I will have less stuff.... Okay, well maybe not less, but at least everything I will have will be needed more. I hope.

"My head is racing and I'm worn thin...
But I know you will pick me up again..."
-Leslie Dudney