Hello. I love you.

"Well, you sure are beautiful..." this is what some man told me when I was walking out of CVS today. I blushed.

Life is good. I love my friends, they are amazing. Even if I have been a bit flaky lately. I adore them. They are the reason I get up everyday with a smile on my face. And they love me back. I know this because they came to Pint Night because I was having a bad day. I had my own entourage. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

My personal life has gotten a little crazy lately, but good crazy. I don't know what I'll do after this semester ends. The last classes I'll ever sit through. The last time I'll be an undergradate. The end of the best four years of my life. I wish it would last just a little longer. I'm not ready to say goodbye to the people who have shaped who I am, the people who have made me love me. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my city, this city I made my own. I love this city. The noises, the long strolls, the insane number of awesome coffee shops, my horseshoe, the squirrels, the football games, some amazing chefs and teachers, my best friends...I think Columbia will always have a huge chunk of my heart.

At the beginning of this semester I was excited to be done, to leave, to explore new territory. But now I'm having a hard time with the idea of leaving. But I am grateful that Erin helped me see how much I love this place so that I don't miss a moment from now until the end. I wouldn't want to miss these days, they are so dear. Each one I try to be observant of everything so I don't miss anything. And they have all been wonderful.

Tomorrow will be my last day at the McCutchen House. I don't know if I can say goodbye to them. It's were I came into my own. Where I came out of my shell. Where I began to feel worth something. Where I met the most amazing friend I think I may ever have.

Before that will be one of the last breakfasts with IMMAC. I have a feeling there will be tears. Happy reminising, but tears nontheless. Man, life goes by so fast. I can't believe it's been four years. Where did all the time go??

Next week will bring a lot of tearful goodbyes; lots of good nights; lots of joy and sorrow. New steps have to be taken, we can't stay this way forever....

But for now I think I will go spend sometime with my city, some time with the bagel shop kids, and another Thrusday night with Erin and Grey's. Life is good. How did I get this lucky?? Someone must really love me.

"I need some direction. I need someone to listen. Someone to tell me they know..."

"And life's so hard. It's the little things that seem to be getting me today. And life's so hard. But I'm doing what I can not to be getting down. Well, I'm going down in flames. Going down in flames."

the world spins too fast, all i can do is hold on. try not to fall off. i need a chance to breathe. a moment to myself. is this what it is to be grown? does it ever let up? does it ever slow down?

i want to sit in the sun, have no place to be. i want to be outside. spend some time with me. i need a chance to breathe. a moment to myself. is this what it is to be grown? does it ever let up? does it ever slow down?

the days speed by, no time for savoring. there's always somewhere to be. some expectation to fill. i need a chance to breathe. a moment to myself. i don't want to be grown. i want to be free.

"And life's so hard. It's the little things that seem to be saving me today. And life's so hard. And I'm doing what I can. I'm doing what I can... I'm putting out the flames."