me: i just want to love him! why won't he let me?
Erin: you should ask him THAT
me: i would sound bat-shit crazy if i asked him that. haha
Erin: so? you don't really have anything to lose...
me: i guess not. but i think i would just get silence. so what's the point?
Erin: knowing that you tried.
and knowing is half the battle
i hate wondering what if
Erin: that shit sucks
the imagined never goes away
the actual you can learn to deal with or get over...
but is it really so easy?? to just say it, just put it out there, make yourself that intensely vulnerable? what do you have to lose? the possibility. the hope. maybe it's better to jump in the fire, let it burn if it must. then move forward. oy, could someone else please handle this part of my life? thanks.