Thursday, November 09, 2006

I need to learn when I've had enough...

How do you know when to let something go?? How do you determine when you've exhausted all your options, to insure that you will have no regrets later?? Where is life's guarantee?? Sometimes, I just wanna say "Hey Coach, I need a minute, take me out." just to catch my breath, have a moment, see things from a different view. Maybe that would help me get some perspective, a new way to tackle the problem, or at least help me realize I can't win. Where is life's rule book?? Why can't I Google my problems to find a solution?? That would be much easier, and I feel sure, much less painful. Sometimes life's road feels incredibly lonely... I want answers, or at least some closure.

I'm trying to be postitive, see the glass half full. Sometimes it's hard. I'm not known to be the eternal optimist. But I'm trying nonetheless.

I just wish everything would slow down. It's already November, the semester is nearing it's end and only seems to be speeding up. I just need a moment. A time out. I feel like life is passing me by sometimes, and I don't like it.

I look around, and lately, my life hasn't been going the way I imagined it. In some ways, it's better, in others, it's not. I feel lost a lot. Like I don't know where I'm going, where my ultimate goal to be is, and it's scarey. The things I once counted on aren't as steadfast as they once were. But I feel like I should take that as a sign or message, maybe I'm suppose to be unsure. Maybe I need to runaway and figure out who I am and what I want to do. I want to see things, I've always wanted to travel and see things and experience things. I just never imagined it would have to be alone. I don't know if I'm strong enough or brave enough to do it alone. Alone scares me, but I think staying scares me more.

I'm going to try to stay as sane as i could possibly. Big girls still cry so please be patient with me. It's gonna be alright....