Monday, March 23, 2009

I am the worst. yes, yes I am.

i'm the world's worst blogger. sometimes i'm too busy. sometimes i have nothing to say. sometimes i have too much to say that it overwhelms me, therefore i don't do it. sometimes i feel like i need to have photographs to keep it interesting, so i don't. sometimes it's just because stalking people is preferable. you name it, and i'll use it.

so in order to update anyone who may still be looking in:

- i am very recently single. it was my choice to end a two year relationship. he moved out. it was hard. we are still friends. and i still love him. and no i don't want to talk about it.

- i saw ex #1 for the first time in several months this weekend. before i went, i prayed to god to help me through it (literally). which isn't something i do frequently. but i was calm, cool and collected when he and his new girlfriend came to meet with me. it went very well. the girlfriend hugged me when we parted ways (it was nice, but a little too much for me).

-i have taken to smoking recently, which baffles some of my long-time friends. i don't do it frequently, only if i'm super stressed. and i've had the same pack for three weeks now. so i don't think it's a problem

- i want a tattoo and tried three times this weekend to get one. there either wasn't enough time, or places were closed. but i'm going tomorrow afternoon. hopefully everything goes my way.

- i am trying to go back to school for public health. i want to work someone outside of the US. possibly africa. but i haven't heard from the school. nor do i know if i could get enough money from loans and the gov't to actually go. we shall see. feel free to pray for that, or will it to happen (depending on your personal belief system, whatever you have to offer i will gladly take. thank you).

- i got a MacBook as a present to myself for all the long hours i do. thank you tax refund.

-my knee is nearly healed from a spill i took on the charleston sidewalks. thank you, firefly mint tea vodka.

- i have resumed my pescetarian diet. i'm happier this way. weight lowers this way. (of course, that could be the whole single thing also). so please don't invite me over for steak and potatoes (and yes, that happened recently)

- i am inspired by all the people being physically fit in my life. (erin, summer, and the NC cousins. i was actually getting on the bandwagon until i fell. as soon as i'm healed i plan to resume.

i guess that's about all for now... oh yeah. i'm currently reading "eat, pray, love" by elizabeth gilbert. and i find it interesting that i picked up this book now. i've been wanting to read it for quite a while. but put it off, read something else, whatever the case may be. then i started it, during my break up, and have found a lot of inspiring words from her. basically it came into my life at the perfect time...

"When I get lonely these days, I think : So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

ps. i hate capitalizing things. it takes too much effort.